In this mystery we call life, we encounter soul needs which at first appear to be opposites or even opposed to each other. However, when we look deeply, we can see that both needs are meant to work together to create a true life journey.
Such is our deep soul needs for security and freedom. Everyone feels both of these tugs deep in our hearts. From the time we are babies we long to be nestled in our mother’s arms, to feel safe, warm, secure, and grounded. That need for safety, the familiar, the not-changing remains with us all of our lives.
But that need for grounding is soon joined by the need for the new, to explore, to learn, to grow, to expand, to be free. Nearly as soon as we feel safe within our mother’s arms, we start longing to squirm out of those same arms to explore the world. Without freedom, without movement, without newness there is no life journey at all.
It’s not that security is bad or that freedom is bad, or that you need one but not the other. We need both to have a full and complete life. I think of it like sailing on a ship. The ship is something solid, secure, that you can firmly stand on in the familiar, but it allows you to catch the breeze and freely travel to wherever you heart wishes. The ship allows you to travel along your life journey in both security and freedom, both grounded and free.
Now I don’t have a literal sailing ship, but I have something that does the same thing for me: a beautiful marriage. Marriage, a committed relationship between two souls, is like a sailing ship: it is meant to give life grounding and security amidst the storms and uncertainty of life, but is also a platform for growth and expansion. The relationship really can be like a sailing ship where two people together can use the breezes of life to sail to new lands, wherever the wind will take them.
That is the marriage I have found in my beloved Tina. Our love provides us with security, comfort, and grounding to help us through the tough times, and a sail that lets us cut through the bounding waves of life’s oceans to discover new places of treasure and fortune.
Don’t settle for a life of security that feels like a prison, and don’t settle for a life of freedom that holds no safety or grounding.You don’t have to compromise. You really can have both when you’re with the right person and you build a relationship that is meant to incorporate both. Use your relationships, and especially your marriage if you are married, as a vehicle that can sustain both purposes in your life’s journey. Live a life both grounded and free, my friends.